Strange But True Online Poker Tales
Worst Bet Ever: Here’s a case in point for self-control at the online poker tables if ever we heard one. In December ’05, one Carl Valentine agreed to what, on the surface, appeared a modest enough challenge, presented by a multi-millionaire buddy of his. The challenge was this: that by April 18, ’06 he, Valentine, send 2 million unique visitors to a website they perversely named savemyfinger.com. If successful, Valentine will qualify to play in a heads up online poker tournament against said millionaire with 1 million dollars at stake. If Valentine wins the tourney, he scores a million smackers.
If he loses, he loses nothing. So far, so good. But if Valentine fails to generate 2 million unique hits on his site, he will still face off against his childhood pal in a heads up online poker match, but this time he’ll be playing for his right index finger. If he wins, he gets to keep all his digits. If he loses, it’s off with his finger – and Valentine vies for the title of World’s Dumbest Amputee.
Online poker room Poker Heaven has supposedly agreed to host the ludicrous match (whatever the stakes). And the Baby’s Name is Chip: They met at an online poker table. The game was Omaha, $30 stakes, the site – Party Poker. He suffered a bad beat and got into an argument with a fellow player over it using the Chat feature. She defended him. They became buddies from there – literally: using the Buddy List feature, Jackie Johnson and Gary Suffir began, from that moment on, a torrid long distance love affair that culminated in Jackie leaving Las Vegas and heading to New York to move in with Gary. Now they’re getting hitched. The first known wedding of a couple who met while playing online poker will take place in March 2006. Prior to the ceremony, friends and family of the bride and groom will participate in an online poker tournament. Poker (and more specifically, online poker) will be the theme of the wedding, with a poker-themed wedding cake and floral displays.
The newlywed couple will then enjoy their honeymoon on the Party Poker Million V Cruise to the Caribbean. “But What Do I Win?”: They’ll let you sell anything on eBay these days. An online poker aficionado and (most surprisingly perhaps) eBay Power Seller who goes by the nickname “The_Sellution” and touts a positive feedback rating of 99.97% (of 1,533 transactions) has posted what could be considered the most inane auction listing eBay’s ever seen (though there are admittedly numerous contenders for that title). Connor Gleason (as he’s known to his family and friends) lost about $5,000 playing Blackjack at online poker room and casino Party Poker. Now he’s asking eBay bidders to help him out of the hole he dug himself into. His opening bid was $999. When the bidding period ended, it closed with no bidders. (Shocker!) But there’s more to this story, and this auction, than meets the eye.
In a sneaky bit of wordplay, Gleason is careful not to name the online poker room where he lost his bankroll – only that, “it’s no Party” (from which we deduce, hopefully correctly, that it’s Party Poker). By the same token, he offers his auction as a “Golden advertising opportunity for a quality online casino”. For anyone who knows of online casino Golden Palace’s reputation for outrageous and expensive publicity stunts including spending thousands of dollars to win eBay auctions for outlandish items, this plea for aid in return for nothing but…what – a warm fuzzy feeling inside? – appears to be a clear and obvious message to Golden Palace and Golden Palace alone. At least they’ll know how to get some press out of their “investment”.
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